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Drug tests have recently exposed the doping of professional athletes. Marion Jones was stripped of gold medals. Floyd Landis was dethroned as the Tour de France winner. Barry Bonds may have his record wiped from the books if proven guilty. Drug testing forces people to deal with truth.

Therefore I believe all presidential candidates should be drug tested. And while the tests may yield results of booze, steroids or marijuana, which would explain the bizarre behaviors we witness on the campaign trail, I am more interested in gender. DNA testing on Hillary Clinton and Bill Richardson would determine if in fact Hillary does indeed have two X chromosomes. After Thursday night's debate, I am convinced Bill Richardson is clearly missing the Y.

Hillary came out loaded for bear to repair the self-inflicted wounds suffered on the issue of driver's licenses for illegal aliens. Arrayed in battle gear of an asbestos pantsuit, she used her favorite weapon in fending off the opposition – children. She is for the children and has spent her life defending children. That is, if they survive the first nine months of their vulnerable lives. And she will use a Clinton administration for the children.

Free health care, free education, free food, free housing, free college tuition, free fill-the-in-blank. Because she loves the children. Forget about who or how we will pay for it. If you are born in Hillary's America, it is your birthright to have the American dream without work. She has the experience and the knowledge to know what is best for you. She has eight years in the White House and several years in the Senate. She is ready to lead America to greatness by giving you everything you want.

Most mothers know not to give their children everything they want. Mothers know many times what children want is not good for them. Sugar, television, playtime, etc. all must be limited if the child is to have a fighting chance in life. A father, on the other hand, wants to give the kids everything. Thus my concern that a Y chromosome may well be in Hillary's DNA.

Bill Richardson wants to "give peace a chance." He claims Edwards wants a class war, Obama wants a generational war, Hillary refuses to end the war, but he will give peace a chance. This fellow is a little bit loony, or maybe stoned. I actually experienced sorrow for this guy as he made a fool out of himself. Had it not been for crazy cousin Dennis Kucinch sitting next to him, he may well have been laughed off the stage.

Richardson would also give, and has given, driver's licenses to illegals. After a bit of double talk Barak would as well. Dodd was offering some "clarity" on the issue when he said yes, then no, then yes and ultimately didn't answer. Edwards said no. Biden said no. Hillary was for it a week ago, and now she is not, but maybe she is.

I am sure the official platform of the '08 Democratic Party will be to issue driver's licenses to blind imams. This way they can vote in the next election. Just as long as the imam can feel the braille on the voting machine indicating the Democratic Party, each Democrat will be offering blind imams the right to drive in America. Using the theory that they will be too busy to plan future hijackings of airplanes because they will be learning to drive; much like Al Pacino in "Scent of a Woman."

Don't you just love that our Democrat leaders are always doing what it takes to keep America safe against all foes, foreign or domestic? If they really wanted to keep America safe, they would all resign and leave the safety of the nation in more responsible hands. Is this the best the Democrats can offer America in 2008?

Would any one of these folks stop the wasteful spending in D.C.? Is there a one of them who would do what is necessary to keep America safe against terrorism without first checking with the ACLU or CAIR? Who is going to tell those on welfare it is time to work? Which one will have the guts to stop Iran from threatening the world? Who will keep taxes low enough to keep the economy growing? Or negotiate trade agreements that will strengthen, not devalue, our currency?

Now, before you get crazy with me, I don't see anyone on the Republican side who will do much better, quite frankly. They are all too worried about winning the popular vote to do the unpopular things necessary to get the nation back on track. Unfortunately, this is not an election about leadership; it is a popularity contest.

To get America back on track it is going to take a no-nonsense, straight-talking statesman; not another Washington politician. I found myself agreeing with Obama last night as he referred to Queen Bee as a capable politician. Rudy is also a capable politician, but that's not what we need. We need statesmen and women who live by principles, not by the latest Zogby poll.

Fact is, the truly qualified leaders among those running for president don't have a chance of getting elected. Hillary is the media darling on the left, and Rudy on the right. In my mind, Joe Biden would be better than Hillary, and Duncan Hunter better than Rudy. But that will not happen.

So I suggest both parties float the idea of driver's licenses for blind imams. It makes about as much sense as everything else they propose.

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