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The freak shows known as Democratic presidential debates have reduced my fear of a Democrat taking up residence at the White House in 2009. My stress melted away like an Al Gore iceberg as I watched solid evidence of the claim that "there is a sucker born every minute" if any American takes any of these clowns seriously.

Watching these candidates sway to-and-fro on issues like foreign policy, health care, energy, war on terror, etc. was a wake-up call to all viewers that the Democratic Party is afflicted with schizophrenia. That is with the exception of their unified hatred of George Bush – one area they are clear as a bell on. Oh, and there was one other area as well. Taxes. More taxes will cure all the trouble in a Democratic America. Spend, spend, spend.

I could go into detail on how disjointed the message of the Democratic Party appears, but that is apparent even to a 5th grader at this point, so I have decided to give you my assessment on each candidate in a sentence or two.

Bill Richardson – Governor of New Mexico. Hispanic America who has basically shown he has a hard time putting two coherent sentences together, but he says he is an executive who can lead this nation forward.

Barak Obama – Illinois senator. The "I am not an insider" Obama therefore "vote for me." He is going to prove he is not an insider by bombing Pakistan. If Osama is there, then Obama is the guy to go get him. He didn't vote for the war but he is willing to bomb an ally.

Hillary Clinton – N.Y. senator. She'll be busy cleaning up Washington using your tax dollars as a mop and broom. Health care, energy, education. Heck, Hillary will even wash your car. There is so much to do, and she is a worker. She is a repairer. Bring your brooms and vacuums and help her clean it up. She has no real accomplishments in her career, but she is your girl.

Chris Dodd – Connecticut senator. He is not sure why he is there, other than that he has been in Washington so long it is about time he run for and fail to become president. This way, he and John Kerry will have something to talk about while chasing skirts in D.C. with Teddy. Oh, and he loves the Daily Kos and the fine people like Markos who run it.

Joe Biden – Delaware senator. He is a loser and is willing to lose in the future. He should be president because... Now that I think of it he never said why. I know he lost a spouse and the hair transplant looks great, but why was it we were supposed to vote for him?

John Edwards – Slip and fall attorney. He says we need changes so we can help a guy with a cleft palate and take care of all the poor people in the two Americas in which we live. He is going to stand up to the big, bad pharmaceutical and medical companies who don't heal but hurt people. He will use the kids and the poor as props much like he did in the courtroom. Therefore you can trust him for effective, manipulative leadership from the Oval Office. He and Elizabeth will take good care of us.

Dennis Kucinich – Ohio Congressman and crowd favorite. He is a card-carrying member of the AFL-CIO which was hosting the freak show. He is the "Sea Biscuit" in this race. He is a "worker's" man.

Crazy cousin Dennis will bring the troops home, give everyone a job and anything they want as long as they vote for him. Crazy cousin Dennis promised to buy a shirt and coat that actually fit if he is elected president.

So I am much more relaxed after watching the political version of "America's Got Talent." I realize now unless the country wants a clown for president, we will end up with anything but a Democrat in 2009.

The country is not ready for more taxes, more government control of our lives and less military protection. The country can ill afford a leader whose foreign policy consists of one day wanting to talk to our enemies and the next day is willing to bomb them – a leader who is more willing to keep the ending to the Harry Potter book secret than the intelligence gathered by the NSA, a leader who is more concerned with the rights of terrorists than the rights of Americans, a leader who thinks fringe, left wing kooks from the Internet are the voice of America.

The average American can see right through these phonies and knows they live by polls and not by principles.

So if you have been worried about Hillary, Barak or heaven forbid Edwards winning the White House; relax. It isn't going to happen. Even with the main stream media supporting these freaks, it won't happen. Americans do get it right, and they will continue to do so in the 2008 election.

If you enjoyed the debates as much as I did the other night, stay tuned. The best is yet to come. The "Last Candidate Standing Freak Show" has already held a debate that strictly focused on gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender issues. You know, issues that affect the average family out there trying to make sense of this crazy world while working, paying bills/taxes and raising kids. Will there be a Democratic debate that panders to the animal rights folks or perhaps NAMBLA in the future? I suspect so if the contribution dollars are there.

This is the face of the Democratic Party of the 21st century. Get used to it. But please… don't vote for it.

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